What happened to CW?

I used to publish a blog of lesbian erotica under the name of C.W. Toklas. It contained erotic stories, butch/femme sexual fantasies with elements of D/s written by a lesbian, for other lesbians. I had a lot of good feedback from other lesbians who enjoyed reading something written by an actual lesbian and liked that it wasn’t so “vanilla”. While radfems may like to claim that all “real lesbian sex” (read NOT lesbian) is by its very nature vanilla because there is no man involved *rolls eyes*, real lesbians will tell you a different story. We really enjoy sex, we like to fuck, some of us enjoy role-play, some of us prefer to top/bottom, some of us like sex-toys, some of us don’t etc. What we all have in common is that we are lesbians and we sexually desire the body of our female partner/s. There are no “rules” when it comes to sex.

So, back to my blog, while my work did technically come under the heading of “BDSM”, I did not write age-play or rape fantasies, both of which I find repellant. Unfortunately, my work attracted a different crowd, one I was not prepared for. The blog attracted a following of men who claimed to be lesbian and some used anime characters as profile pics. To be honest, I was disgusted that my writing was being “used” in this way and pulled the blog off the internet. I no longer want to publish my writing in any form because I don’t want it to be used by men.

As a lesbian, I was aware of the dangers that “trans” ideology posed for homosexuals, but I didn’t realise that so many males who ID as transgender were basing their “ID” on their sexual fantasies. There is nothing wrong with sexual fantasies per se, but when they become a basis for a real life identification that impacts upon others, it is a BIG problem.

I still write, occasionally, and I still think about publishing, there are some publishing houses that produce compilations of lesbian erotica, but many of them are very “queer” rather than lesbian focused and I worry about where my stories will end up and what kind of publishing establishment I will be supporting. I thought about self publishing on amazon, but again, the thought of men jerking off to my work makes my want to vomit, so for now I have a folder on my laptop full of unread erotica that I write for my own amusement and I don’t know what to do with it.



7 thoughts on “What happened to CW?

  1. Well, this is really heartbreaking. While I can relate to what you are saying (you don’t want your creations to go into the hands of the wrong readers), I believe that in the end it’s all about what you enjoy writing and reaching the right audience. Like most authors, the main reason why I write (and draw) is because I am eager to tell stories nobody (or hardly anybody) has written before. The lesbian community is still starving for stories by lesbians for lesbians, now more than ever. While this starvation is not the main reason why I write (and draw), it’s still a huge elephant in the room that I cannot and will not ignore, at the cost of men jerking off to my lesbian characters. So be it! This is too important to me: if I tried stopping my creativity or sharing my stories, it would be like trying to collect the ocean with a spoon. It’s an impossible feat: awful readers will always be there, but they are a minuscule issue compared to what I need to accomplish – telling my stories to as many people as they wish to read, with a special and stronger focus on my lesbian readers.

    I hope you will reconsider your decision, maybe when you feel a bit stronger or safer, because I think that, while you don’t owe anything to anybody (specifically, you don’t owe the lesbian community or anyone your art), it’s still a real pity to leave your stories in a computer folder, just because they attracted the worst crowd. I say, fuck them šŸ˜‰

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hey long time no speak. I’m sad that you can’t share your writings anymore. I myself loved reading them (as you know). Not sure what the answer is. Very difficult to restrict access to your work. X

    Liked by 1 person

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