We are not “Queer”

I have come to detest the word queer and the way in which it blankets an incredibly diverse community with extremely different and usually oppositional view points. I think that the experience of homophobia is different for those of us who are homosexual, as opposed to those who are straight/bi etc. Don’t get me wrong, anyone perceived to be homosexual or in a same-sex relationship can experience homophobic discrimination, but for us it is an attack on our very being as opposed to our choice of partner. We don’t have a choice or a way out. Well, some of us choose to transition as a way out, but that’s hardly a solution and can be both physically and psychologically destructive. The war on the lesbian psyche is very real and it’s coming from within the “queer” community. To many lesbians, particularly those over 30, “queer” merely means straight craving a sense of individuality and a new cool label under the queer umbrella. That is what we see and why most of us give the “queer community” a giant “fuck you” and go out own way. There is a really deep divide to the point that lesbians like myself get more respect from hets than our own supposed community. At least they acknowledge our existence and don’t try to co-opt our very name and lecture us about how our very existence is transphobic.

Lesbians need to turn our backs on a community that has done us more harm than good.

Misogynistic, Lesbo-Hating Nonsense.

You know when you read something and you get so cranky you can’t contain the rage? That only happens when I read someone on the left who I either admire or previously admired, say or write something so ridiculous and misogynistic that it takes my breath away. Then I realise that a year ago I may have written or said something very similar. The anger then recedes and I just feel sad…. nope, still angry.

I’m still angry because it is so-called feminists in the media who write this shit – shit that came straight out of the academy and it’s love affair with “queer theory” – that had my thinking so screwed up. So I’m angry at the academy, I’m angry at pomo theorists, I’m angry at lazy feminism, I’m angry at wrong feminism, I’m angry at misogynistic lesbo-hating nonsense, and I’m angry at myself for taking so long to realise just how disgusting it all is.

Ironically, it took me one cultural studies subject, which I aced, to realise the problem, and the problem is not my mansplaining lecturer, but the women that influenced him, the women who wrote books denigrating their own sex. The so-called “lesbians” who embrace “queer” and write theories that are bastardised of foucault, the so-called “father of queer theory” who is really nothing of the sort.

Is it so wrong to see womanhood, femaleness, as being innately different to maleness? Is it so wrong to see lesbians as being innately different to straight women? To understand that neither womanhood nor lesbianism is a “chosen identity”, but that they are defining characteristics that make a lesbian woman who she is? I am not the sum of a social construct. Gendered roles exist as a socially constructed hierarchy, but that is not who we are. We are women because we were born female with xx chromosomes, we are lesbians because we are women who are homosexual. This is who we are, not a “performance of a construct”, but real living, breathing, sexual, loving, humans beings. We are not a sum of what society says we are, we do not deliberately “conform” or not to straight, gendered and sexual stereotypes. We be who we are, and that is lesbians with unique personalities fighting against a world that tells us that we must define ourselves by their rules, by their categorisations, and not by our own.